Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life. -Deuteronomy 30:19-20
As I quieted the voices in my mind, the voices on the outside of the gate grew louder. “You don’t have to do this,” one man said. “There are other options.”
I walked swiftly to the door, trying to block out the sign that read Stop Abortion Now and the voices that cried out, “Jesus loves you.”
My mind was spinning, as I sat down in the waiting room. I went from second guessing my decision to rationalizing it was okay. After all, I was only a few weeks pregnant and the baby growing inside of me was smaller than a half dollar. It hadn’t had a chance to develop yet, is what I thought to myself. It didn’t seem like I was about to shed innocent blood.
Because the pregnancy was unplanned, I made plans for what I thought was right for myself. I never once questioned what was best for the child and how God would feel about it.
I wish I would have researched the facts of abortion, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to know. Had I examined it, I would’ve known that by the fourth and fifth week the baby’s heart begins to flutter and limb buds appear. Other systems such as the circulatory, digestive, urogenital and nervous system begin to all take shape.
I drove myself home that dark day, numb. The memories and emotions were stuffed into a deep abyss of my soul. I had no idea what a lasting effect this would have on my life and the feelings of remorse, humiliation and condemnation I would carry. Tears are rolling down my cheek as I type this from the pain. But God doesn’t want me to stay in bondage to the chains that weighed me down. What good would it do to bury my dark secret with me when I know it may help someone else? And so, that is why I am sharing my story.
For the woman who has had an abortion, you are not alone. God still loves you and wants to heal you. You can be rid of shame and walk confidently by confessing your sin and accepting His forgiveness. There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. Because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. (Romans 8:1-2)
For the woman contemplating abortion, don’t do it! Choose life! The baby you’ve been given is a blessing. No matter how the baby was conceived, God has created this human being and allowed it. If the child is unwanted or cannot be cared for, there are people in this world who would love to cradle an infant in their arms. Don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion. Our key verse says choose life by loving God, obeying Him and committing to Him.
The stirring of these buried emotions have caused me to deal with them and leave them at the cross. I’ve heard a voice that has grown louder than my own and those of the people that day at the gate. It’s the sweet whisper of Jesus who simply says: I forgive you. No matter what mistake you’ve made or will make, I forgive you. If your weary from a heavy load, He wants you to hear that same sound. His grace covers all.
Are their secret sins weighing you down? Do you feel your past mistakes could stop someone from making the same one(s)?